Whew. That was a long wait. It seems like “wide-right” is defined to go down in history after last year’s end. What? That happened before too?.
I guess it has been an even longer wait for me writing one of these emails. I am way out of practice.
Folks, while I’ve been busy perfecting my couch potato skills, the world’s gone and lost its marbles. We’ve got A.I. on the scene now, and I’m not talking about Allen Iverson’s aversion to practice. Nope, we’re dealing with Artificial Intelligence, the kind that doesn’t need to hit the gym to outperform us mere mortals.
So, in the spirit of embracing our new robot overlords, I’ve decided to let A.I. take the wheel for this newsletter. Why work my fingers to the bone when I can have a computer do it for me? It’s like having a personal assistant who never needs coffee breaks or complains about my dad jokes.
And because I’m feeling extra lazy (or is it innovative?), I’m even letting A.I. handle the visuals. So, if you see any bizarre images that look like they came from a fever dream, blame it on our digital Picasso. HAL 2000, show us what you’ve got!
Buckle up, buttercups! This ride’s about to get weirder than a cat in a tuxedo riding a unicycle. Welcome to the future – where the news is made up, and the points don’t matter!
Yours in laziness and relative obscurity,
BRIAN
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Hey CeeBeeeBeeeBeers Get ready to burst through the doors of South Street Brewery with the energy of a wild stampede. You’ll be charging in like a herd of bison, fueled by your quest for a delicious brew. On September 8th, we will be witnessing the epic showdown between our adored Billsies and the (cough, cough) formidable Cardinals at 1pm. It promises to be an Hurry in, you feisty followers of football, lest you be delayed like the trophies awaiting placement on the empty shelf of the Bills’ Super Bowl victories! We wouldn’t want you to be deprived of this excitement or more Bills championship titles, would we? -illiant specials that’ll make your taste buds do the Macarena! Steal the Pint when you buy a Cville Bilsner. It’s not grand larceny if they’re giving it away, right? Just don’t use that logic at Walmart later! For you wing nuts (not the ones keeping your head attached), we’ve got a sauce that’ll pickle your fancy – Spicy Dill Pickle! It’s so good, you’ll be yelling “Dill with it!” faster than you can say “wide right”! Our new 2024-25 season t-shirts will be on sale. Because nothing says “I make great decisions” like wearing a Bills shirt in Charlottesville! We’re practically living in Clarence. So come on down, grab a brew, and let’s cheer on our Bills louder than a buffalo with a bullhorn! Just remember, if we lose, it’s probably because you didn’t yell loud enough. No pressure! But seriously, we’re totally blaming you and your wimpy vocal cords. So warm up those pipes and get ready to bellow like T.A. doing karaoke! Electronically, |
exhilarating experience, even more exciting than witnessing Patrick’s attempt at utilizing Tinder!
Get ready for some 
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