Picture this: There I was at Crystal Beach Amusement Park – the holy birthplace of Loganberry itself – clutching my beloved, totally-not-official Logan’s Run beach towel featuring a slightly pixelated Farrah Fawcett as Holly 13.
The towel had seen better days, much like my stomach after riding the Comet roller coaster while chugging what must have been my fifth Loganberry of the day.
You see, Crystal Beach wasn’t just an amusement park to me – it was where my two worlds collided (Those suckers and Laff-in the Dark aside). Here I was, standing on the sacred ground where Leonard Bernstein (no, not THAT Leonard Bernstein) had blessed Western New York/ Southern Ontario (Bleep the Leafs!) with his raspberry-blackberry concoction, that somehow had scribbled itself into our brains like some stupid Whacky Pakages from the local drugstore. This towel celebrated Farrah’s brief-but-memorable turn as a futuristic plastic surgery nurse. Sure, she was only in Logan’s Run for about as long as it takes to drink a medium Loganberry, but to my young heart, those few minutes were cinema gold.
The irony wasn’t lost on me that I was drinking a beverage invented in 1906 while fantasizing about a movie set in a dystopian future where nobody lives past 30. But hey, at least my faded, questionably-manufactured towel kept me dry between splashes in the Crystal Beach scary sea-weed laden water when I wasn’t using it as a cape while pretending to be a Sabre running through the Aud, that is.
And yes, I absolutely tried to convince everyone that Loganberry was actually the secret sauce that kept Logan’s Run’s society looking so eternally youthful. I mean, have you ever seen anyone drinking Loganberry look a day over 29?
Did I mention the towel? And how I laid on it face first?
Ya know, to tan my back?
And that this week’s South Street wings are Spicy Loganberry?
Crazy how topical this post was. I am that good (drunk).
Burp,
BRIAN
PS: 50/50 this Sunday. Maybe you can buy my towel?
PSS: This week’s Pats game doesn’t matter but I would love to see you all there.
